Newspaper Article!

I was reading the local paper this morning and found this!

Jeff Parker proven to be a pretty man

Local hero Jeff "Talent" Parker received some well-deserved regional glory yesterday at the 12 Hours of Tsali mountain bike race in Bryson City, North Carolina. Gone Riding, the outfit that organized the race, chose Parker's image to adorn the race flier, t-shirt, and prize plaques. Parker received another dose of fame when, through the voting efforts of the Sycamore Cycles juggernaut, Team "Jeff Parker is a Pretty Man" won the Best Team Name contest. Through the day he was often seen signing t-shirts while adoring fans stroked his calves. But Parker is nothing if not modest. When asked how he got so talented, he smiled wryly and said "Boy, don't make me..." in an exaggerated twang. To top off this noteworthy day in Jeff Parker history, his team, the TDS or Tsali Domination Squad, handily beat the competition in the sport class. TDS had a few tense moments when its opponents came on strong, but emerged victorious thanks to the combined horsepower of Parker and his teammates Dan Ennis, Justin Miles, and Matt Wells. After the race it was revealed that Parker is actually a road racer, and just brushes the dust off his mountain bike once a year to "do work" at Tsali. Onlooker Steven Gardner had this to say about Parker's road racing: "At races he's so far off the front, I'm positive that you could read a full novel by the time the first group rolls by. He needs to forget about these rides and go ahead and go to Europe. All his talent just makes people feel bad."

In related news, the Four Horsemen, Sycamore's open money team, snagged a podium spot. The Sycamore Oh Yeahs (Dirty Girls of Brevard) won their category and actually managed to lap second place. Geoff Bergmark, who raced twelve hours solo, scored the top podium spot while on a belt drive singlespeed. Every single member of the enormous seven-team Sycamore Cycles crew threw down and did freaking awesome, and we all had so much fun!