Gratitude

I had a really lovely Christmas vacation filled with lots of socializing and skiing and it made me feel lots of feelings, including overwhelming gratitude for all the good in my life. Mostly:

-A family that doesn't expect me to ever visit or call and still loves and supports me even though I've been hiding in Idaho for five years.

-Podcasts and libraries: all the free content you could ever consume.

-A good man and a good dog, even though I was extremely resistant to going down that road again because I'm convinced that all relationships are doomed to failure.

But seriously, just look at this weird cat-dog.

-My health. After racking up tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills at the beginning of 2018, I'm doing just fine and it could have been so much worse.

-My friends. My god I have wonderful friends. I am so fortunate.

-The fact that the city plows the sidewalks.

-My job, which is low key and flexible but feels so engaging and important.

-Interactions with people who believe in very different things than I do but are still deeply kind and caring. Related: rarely having to interact with trolls.

-My warm sunny house that I signed for a year ago holy fuck I can't believe I'm a homeowner and I can't believe it's been the most gratifying experience of my life.

-Generations of privilege. I can't stress this enough. Our family has always been working class but because of decades of canny financial decisions I have a college education and a home and I couldn't have done either without the wisdom and benevolence of my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents. Credit also goes to them for teaching us what really matters in life.

On Skiing, Part II

Now that I can get off the chairlift without thinking about it, now that I know how to carry my sticks and how to ratchet my boots as tight as they'll go and how to easily navigate the entire mountain and name every lift on sight, it's on to the real stuff. According to EpicMix (the Strava of the Vail people) I've gotten in 25 days already, which means enough substantial hours on the slopes to have this thing sort of figured out.

What I'm convinced of already is that a: I'm spoiled rotten, and b: groomers suck. We had a snowless, warm week and I had to drag myself up the hill, convinced the snow would be just terrible. Tracked out and bumped out and scraped down to a mean layer of cement. Never mind that there were still feet upon feet of the good stuff, and still caches of untouched powder hiding in the trees. The last couple of days brought wicked cold temps and a nice dusting up top and everything was better again. So yes, a couple months of Tahoe snow has ruint me. And taught me unequivocally that groomers suck. Groomed runs are to road biking what tree skiing is to mountain biking; groomers are very fast and covered in people who are making unpredictable and potentially dangerous moves. The trees are hushed and underpopulated and challenging, and I love to explore every possible option and turn, making my untrammeled way between boulders and treewells. It's nice to go out alone and listen to music and chase new lines and to be distracted only by the litany that plays in my head: torso downslope, poles forward, flex into your boots, feet together.  

Every pause is worth a gasp
Pic courtesy of Will Snaith 

I think I could get better at this than mountain biking, because I don't feel limited by the same fears that plague me on two wheels. This new obsession is alarming in the context of larger life though, because the last thing I need is another criterion limiting my choice of locations and jobs. I got a resort job thinking ski-bum living was a whimsy to mark off the list, but this might be something I need every winter, and that makes me nervous. And strangely exhilarated.  

The Art of Saying Yes, and Also What's Next

While the daily high remains at 75F and the sun is as reliable as ever, the chill is lingering longer each morning and setting in faster each evening, and the conference season is half over. Unlike most of the nomads that work here, I simply can't embrace the fly by the seat of your pants lifestyle. One of my coworkers is a bit of an astrology nut and she informs me that as a virgo, I'm a total homebody and prefer organization, routine, and stability.

Yep. I'm such a homebody that instead of looking forward to the next adventure, like WWOOFing in Hawaii or road tripping to Mexico, I'm already dropping roots. Applying to work at Heavenly, hoping my fun and charming officemate will let me live with her in South Lake for the winter, and, most importantly: accepting a job as a three-season evening manager at Stanford Sierra. It's not for sure but I can't think of anything I'd rather do than stay here for at least another year. In the brief in-between of November I'm seriously considering a trip to Moab, and anyone that wants to join me is welcome. 

In the meantime I'm working on being more spontaneous. With the aid of one Mr. Ennis I spent the last year practicing the transformative art of saying yes. That doesn't sound like a big deal but it's served me well here, in fighting the entropic forces of my antisocial nature. When unusual opportunities present themselves, my first instinct is to say no, but saying yes often leads to great times. A couple days ago my suitemate suggested an impromptu camping trip to some hot springs hours south of us, and instead of offering up some lame and trivial excuse I decided to join the gang. There is something so Californian about chilling au naturel in hot springs under the full moon, drinking Sauvignon Blanc in the middle of nowhere. I felt like I was finally living up to my mother's hippie legacy. 

Buckeye hot springs
Pics courtesy of Viv (at least I'm stealing from friends
instead of strangers now)

Sunrise over our campsite

 Who knows what else saying yes could lead to. Everyone at camp is on a skydiving kick right now, and daytripping to Yosemite or the coast isn't out of the question. I also sometimes need to drop the book or postpone sleep for more mundane things like night hikes, Halloween DH races, group road rides, and cruising on the motorboat between shifts. It's tough, really.

The treehouse, for no other reason than I like it
Pic courtesy of Elena

Idyll

I'm not sure why I waited so long to update on the current situation--I'm probably only a couple of days away from an insistent email from the mother or father.

I think maybe it's because words fail me. I keep having to pinch myself to be sure this is real, that somehow I deserve to be here staying in a free cabin, eating three free (delicious) meals a day, working with friendly, outdoorsy, sometimes hedonistic, perpetually nomadic people.

More than anything, it's just the most beautiful place I've ever been, and the idea that I can wake up every morning to the sun rippling over the cerulean lake and through the spruce pines, and go for a ten minute hike that puts me in a skree field overlooking both Fallen Leaf and Lake Tahoe, seems almost absurd. The other night the staff director took all us newbies on a night cruise in the pontoon boat and pointed out all the intensely illuminated constellations. We're surrounded by sinister 9,000 foot peaks that delineate sky and earth in no uncertain terms. There's enough time in the day to hop in the bracingly cold lake, take out a kayak or paddleboard, or head out for a quick ride. I've even found a riding companion who knows the nearby trails and yesterday she took me up a mountain and back down.

Suffice to say I'm already dreading the end of the work season, only two months away.

Nothing New Here

someone told me recently that my blog is a one trick pony because the only message i ever convey is happy-happy-joy-joy. well, this post is not going to change a thing. how can i possibly write with solemnity or dismay when i've had two cups of coffee and it's SEVENTY-ONE DEGREES OUTSIDE, and i'm about to go for a mtb ride with my saint because my lovely bosses at ye olde red house understand that going outside to play in the sunshine is more important than changing sheets and dusting.

riding laurel/pilot with some of my favorite stumpy club members

other events have also been causing a surplus of joy in my life. weather is first and foremost of course; my mood is absurdly dependent on sunshine. but even when the sun goes down i can get together with my favorite lady friends and have a good time eating, drinking, and posing for silly pictures.

luv.

last week mi madre and i made the trek to charlotte to attend a super fab cupping'n'stuff hosted by the bakery's coffee supplier. there are few things i love better than standing around in skinny jeans pretending to taste cedar and citrus in a cup of joe. pretentious coffee talk really revs my engine.

aaaand despite all those claims of retirement i found myself tracking down all the race dates of the season to add to my planner. just, you know, in case i happen to have a free weekend and want to go drive a few hours and pay dollars to ride around in a circle chasing fast women in the elusive hunt for glory and fame.

or whatever.

also i joined the new club in town because, i mean, who wouldn't want to roll with a pac?

Once Again, A Homebody Speaks of Travel

As the weather turns permanently unpleasant, my thoughts frolic into next summer, the season of voyages. Bellingham, WA to see if my shoe-twin is lying about how awesome it is...Windham, NY to watch some World Cup action...maybe some face-time with the grands in NH...then Mont-Sainte-Anne for World Champs! Um did I mention I WILL BE DONE WITH COLLEGE BY THIS SUMMER? Wow. What a feeling.

But then wanderlust ain't all it's cracked up to be. The Saint and I rode Caney/Daniel/Butter yesterday in the unseasonably gorgeous sunlight. Oh em gee what a fantastic ride. To me, that loop is the epitome of Pisgah.

It's been a good week. I also had the pleasure of dog-sitting at a house complete with hot tub and pool table. And the family continued the long-time tradition of getting out in the woods together for some kind of exercise on Thanksgiving. We're so cool.

And another fabulously frivolous girls' night out in Ashevegas

Retraction

that was so negative nancy. before i'm written off as a pessimistic polly or even a dour diane, let me set the record straight. self doubt aside, there's recently been a grocery list of awesome-ity.
-delicious food with lots of fresh produce
-thought-provoking discussions in and out of class
-beautiful weather to recreate in and nasty weather to make us appreciate the beautiful
-action packed weekend up in Boone, full of DH spectating and parties
-laughter-filled first race of the season
-all my incredible teammates back in town
what more could i wish for?