We were over at a friend's house the other night, eating enchiladas and enjoying the usual good-natured bullshitting. One of her neighbors was there too, a local wrench, fellow North Carolinian, and dude of whom I think (thought?) pretty highly. We were talking bikes, of course, and he asked what I ride, of course, so I told him but added that I'd just joined the local team, and before I could reveal the possible new bike purchase that that entailed, he cut me off with a sharp, "They're just letting anyone on that team now."
My friends who know me as a cyclist visibly stiffened. He backpedaled and clarified that he meant they were loose with their pro-form, but the jab still stung. I spent the rest of the night engaged with him in some kind of lame attempt to establish my legitimacy, talking brands and builds and numbers, and the climbers' and skiers' faces showed bemusement then boredom. I love gear talk for gear's sake but I cringe at myself when I fall into these conversations that are all posturing and name-dropping.
Unfortunately, sometimes it feels like that's the only way to convince recent acquaintances and new shop folks that, yeah, I'm a chick but I'm also a competent mountain biker. I don't think that I'm overly sensitive, but it is kind of a drag moving somewhere and doing the slow, elaborate dance of a new shop patron: hi, your kneejerk reaction to my entrance into the shop is wrong, I don't need dumbed-down service, please don't condescend to me. It's tricky to convey all that without outright bragging or obnoxious bike nerd talk. If you don't get what I'm saying, imagine walking into the bakery for the first time. Based on her immediate visual judgement of you, the nice lady behind the counter explains to you the difference between a baguette and a danish, and asks if you've ever eaten bread before, and if so, have you ever purchased it all by yourself?
Absurd, sure, but the experience has repeated itself in several shops and parking lots across the country. There are so many lady rippers out there that it seems unwise to just assume a woman that shows up at a trailhead or walks into a shop is a beginner or casual rider. I'm curious to hear other opinions on the matter--if you're a chick, do you notice an initial lack of regard from shops and industry folks? Or is this issue unrelated to gender and does every new kid on the block have to prove him or herself? Or (quite possibly) am I just paranoid and too aware of how others perceive me? Pleasantly, I haven't encountered any of this bias in skiing, maybe because there's no organized competitive aspect to the kind of skiing I do. The scene is way more mellow and joyful, which is one of its huge appeals.
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What a dick. You'll drop him on the climbs - and probably on the descents, too.
ReplyDeleteGoing new places, there's a certain amount of street -er, trail- cred. It does have to be earned a bit by either gender. Should be easy for you once you're on the trail!
I feel ya on the shop scene. It's been the same way for me. Our Specialized dealer, Sports LTD, here has that vibe, although they do employ a solid female ripper. Because of the latter, I tolerate them. But, I'll go to always North Rim first as they treat me like a rider rather a wife dropping off her husband's bike.
See if there's a ladies ride in town. Join the shop group ride, too. I've only done one ladies mtb ride here, but it was a blast. (I also was hassled about needing to join a team. A masters team. I am effing 32. Masters is like 45+. AND, they wanted to do at least 10 races in a year. I am NOT a MASTER and I will race if I please!) Anyway, regardless of that rant, you might find yourself being recruited. That's always a nice feeling.
Julia,
ReplyDeleteOf course Jenna and I are chiming in with our two cents!!
UGH PREACH IT. You are not the only one. And yes, while in all fairness to bike shop employees (who are used to idiots of both genders, from all walks of life, who have no idea about bikes, riding, the culture, etc) there is, in my mind, a definite condescension/patronization towards women-- we're the girlfriends, the newbs, the novices-- men say things to me I have never heard, in all my years of experience in different contexts of riding, said to other dudes. Of course, dudes who know me and ride with me would never say anything. But guys who I don't have that camraderie with yet, I have to contend with unsolicited pointers, advice, gear tips, the whole gamut.
It's frustrating. I see amongst dudes a certain jockeying for position, the establishment of respect, etc etc. But I completely relate with your experience, and it's something that I don't think men can understand because they've never been in our shoes.
On a positive note, you are awesome. Your experience, actions, and prowess on the bike will speak volumes. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up over how you behaved, or pander to any further nonsense. Just do you!!! Be confident, you don't have a thing to prove that won't be evident through the natural course of your time in the community. Your presence, integrity, talent, and enthusiasm for riding will shine : )