This Decade

I'm kind of in the mood to do a decade retrospective, like everyone else, and I prefer the blog medium to more photo-heavy outlets, although I have sprinkled choice photos from the last ten years through this post. 

I start browsing The Plural of Danish, since it's appropriately just over a decade old, and I have a thesis in mind. I graduated college ten years ago; I must be a different person, I think. I've made two big moves, had several impactful relationships, bought a house, stumbled upon a career, stopped defining my life with bikes, started defining my life with a 50/50 split of bikes and skiing (quelle différence). Maybe I like myself more now. I do really like myself, and I've learned even as a woman that it's actually okay to like yourself. I like the people around me, I like my job, I just plain old like my life.

My last and best collegiate MTB nationals was ten years ago.

But I am actually a bit surprised, perusing old blogs with this thesis in mind. Turns out this is an ongoing theme in my life, the liking. Where is the earthshaking difference? While moving cross country felt so huge, like such a drastic shift in my life, so many people I know here did the same, often in worse situations, before it was cool. Moving to another community that feeds my need for connections in the same way that Brevard did was more of a natural progression than an abrupt change of direction.

Went to Arkansas.

My voice is so lively in early blogs. Cloying, sure, but much less self-aware than now. Now I always feel like I'm writing for too many people, an audience with whom I'm unwilling to share my whole self.

Went to Italy.

We are theoretically in the twilight of personal blogs and yet, according to my traffic numbers, my top ten most viewed posts all occurred in the Tetons, which indicates there is still an appetite at least among my friends for blogs about playing outside. Or it's just my mother reading trip reports over and over so she can gasp anew about all the dumb shit I do.

Moved cross-country.

I told my parents that, because I write professionally, the blog now feels like a chore, and writing in first person makes me feel like a tool. That's why my post numbers have dwindled. Seventy-three in 2009, twenty-one in 2014, eight in 2019. But it's also a good outlet for the stuff I definitely don't want to make available for mass consumption.

Thrived in Tahoe.

The biggest benefit in my job is that I've finally tapped into this boundless curiosity that I think I always had but wasn't using at all for a long time. I love doing the research and trying to wrap my head around new topics so I can reformulate them into accessible ideas for others to read about. I love gossiping with people who have power in the community after doing the work to prove I deserve their confidences. I love giving businesses an extra nudge with exposure. I love writing articles that parents want to cut out of the physical paper, even though sharing a link is so much easier.

Thriving in the Tetons.

I didn't mean for this post to be only about my job. I moved and grew and bought a house, one of my crowning accomplishments of the last five years in an economy that doesn't want young people to survive. I also got engaged. To be married. I keep forgetting to acknowledge that because of how unimportant the institution is to me. But I found this guy after over a decade of trying to figure out what I actually want in a relationship, and he is all of it.

Running is the best.

Owning a home is the best.

In 2009 I was finding joy, pushing myself on the trail, loving my friends, and casually wondering what was next. This decade I became a camper, a dog owner, a drinker, a lover, a journalist, a landlord. I established myself in new places without the baggage of old, decided I am actually sociable, can be kind, love asking people questions, enjoy making new friends. I realized as I've lost people dear to me how important family is, and began to understand just how near to the tree this particular apple has fallen. But my own trajectory does not fit within my thesis. I haven't changed significantly.

This one is the best.