Resolve

I did a tour in GTNP a couple days ago, this tour but with a less complicated descent.

The conditions were identical: deep, light snow, single digit temps, no wind, cloudy skies.

Skinning across Taggart Lake...I love GTNP
Pic courtesy of Cy

The journey was completely different. Three years ago, I was still really new to skiing. I did fine on the uphill but the downhill was painful. I slowed down the group, I wasn’t a competent skier, and it was irresponsible for me to be out there. I think we all have to go through these deep end experiences and hopefully are able to learn from them rather than dying from them.

Now, in my fifth season of skiing and touring, I’m a different person. I’m probably more conservative than I was then, because I don’t let other people make decisions for me. I can make my own observations, do my own research, and navigate somewhat adequately. I often don’t get it right but every time is a learning experience, and I’m never a passive follower going in over my head without any knowledge. I can’t handle emergencies yet but I have the everyday systems dialed, and I’m a pretty good skier. Not pretty, and not good, but pretty good.

I like the word resolve more than the word resolution. Resolution is fluffy and aspirational; resolve is iron-spined.

 I set little goals every year. I don’t always remember them, but mostly I follow through. At the dawn of 2012, I vowed to shake up my life. In 2013, I wanted to say yes to everything. I remember talking to my dad on the phone early last January and saying that I wanted to write more. I was scared to say it out loud because then I was accountable.

My 2016 goal came true in a more definitive fashion than I could ever have predicted.

What do I resolve to do this year? Have more adventures, probably. Keep learning. Maybe get outside my comfort zone. Maintain my obsessive quest for novel experiences. I did a lot of that last year but I don’t want to lose momentum.

And now it’s in writing, so I guess I'd better do it.